First Advice:

Umamah bint Harith Taghlabiya is counted among the women in Arabia who possessed excellence and perfection, and her wise sayings about ethics and admonition are very famous and well-known. When the king of Kindah, Harith bin Amr, married Umamah bint Harith’s daughter, Umm Iyas bint Awf, this wise mother gave her beloved daughter valuable advice on her wedding night.

My dear daughter! If anyone could be considered above needing advice due to their good manners and politeness, it would be you. But this advice serves as a reminder for the wise and a 

warning for the negligent.

O my dear daughter! If any woman could be independent of her husband because of her parents’ wealth, it would be you. But my daughter, we women are created for men just as they are created for us.

Dear daughter! You are now leaving the environment in which you were born. You are leaving your familiar home and companions to go to a stranger’s house and an unfamiliar companion who has become your king. If you become his servant, he will soon become your servant. Remember these ten pieces of advice I’m giving you; they will prove very useful for you.

First and second: Live with your husband with patience and gratitude, and remain devoted to his obedience and compliance with a cheerful face, because patience and gratitude bring comfort to the heart, and meeting someone with a cheerful face earns the pleasure of the Lord.

Understand his glances and recognize what pleases his senses, so that his eyes don’t fall upon any of your flaws and his nose smells only pleasant fragrances from you.

O my daughter! Know that among all beauty products, the best beauty enhancer is kohl, and the most desirable thing is water.

Learn his meal times, and when he is sleeping, remain quiet. Because hunger’s heat provokes anger, and disturbing someone’s rest causes hatred and enmity.

Protect his house, wealth, servants, and family members, because in protecting his wealth lies the secret of your honor, and in protecting the servants and family members, domestic life can proceed smoothly.

Never reveal any of his secrets and never disobey any of his commands, because if you reveal his secret, you will not be safe from his disloyalty. And if you disobey his command, you will anger his heart. If he is sad, do not express happiness before him, and when he is happy, do not sit and cry before him, because the first habit shows poor judgment and the second will cause him distress. Above all, be mindful of showing him respect and honor, and he will give you the utmost respect in return. The more you accommodate him, the more he will desire your company.

And believe that you will attain true happiness when you sacrifice your wishes for his and prioritize his desires over your own, whether it’s good or bad for you.

May Allah do good for you. I bid you farewell.

Second Advice:

A mother advised her daughter at the time of her marriage, saying: 

“O my daughter, never be negligent about keeping your body clean and tidy, because cleanliness of the body will brighten your face, establish your love in your husband’s heart, keep diseases and illnesses away from your body, and give your body strength to perform household chores. This is because people naturally dislike unclean women, eyes do not wish to look at them, and ears do not want to hear them. Whenever you are in front of your husband, be with a cheerful face, because love is like a body, and a smiling, pleasant face is its soul.”

Third Advice: 

A modern-day mother gave the following advice to her daughter: 

“O my daughter, you are going toward a new life where you will not be under the control of your mother, your father, or any of your brothers. You are becoming the life partner of a person who does not want to share you with anyone, even if they are a piece of your flesh and blood. O my daughter, be his wife and show him the affection and kindness of a mother. Always make him feel that you are his life and everything, and that you are his entire world.

Always remember that the young man who is your husband can be made happy with even a small sweet word. Do not make him feel that by marrying you, he has deprived you of your parents and family, because in his heart too, he may realize that for your sake, he has also left living with his parents and family. But the difference between him and you is as much as between a man and a woman. A woman is always inclined toward her family and the home where she was born, grew up, matured, and received education. Despite this, it is necessary for her to teach herself to live with such a man who has become her husband and king, and who has become the father of her children. O my daughter! This is your new life. My daughter! This is your present and future. This is your family that was created because of you and your husband.

Now understand that your parents have passed away. I am not telling you to completely forget your parents and brothers because they will never forget you. O my dear daughter! How can a mother forget a piece of her heart? But I tell you to love your husband and live for him, and find happiness by spending your life with him.”

Forth Advice:

Muhammad bin Mathna, advising his son, says: 

“O my son, protect yourself from strange women because conversing with them is threatening, and their voice is harsh. They bury good deeds, spread evils, and aid time when it’s against you, but don’t help you against time. There is no softness in their hearts for husbands, nor is there fear of the husband in their hearts. If the husband comes home, she leaves; and if he goes out, she comes home. If the husband laughs, she starts crying; and if the husband feels like crying, she starts laughing. If the husband keeps her with him, she becomes a trouble for him; and if he divorces her, she starts praying abundantly to Allah to keep the husband engaged with her. Yet her compassionate thoughts about the husband are few. Despite having everything to eat and drink, she heavily criticizes the husband. She makes a lot of noise and usurps others’ property. The fire of her mischief doesn’t extinguish. Her severe darkness doesn’t settle. She is very tight-hearted. She keeps her (face and head) veil open. She doesn’t care for the child and leaves the house dirty. And she cries despite being the oppressor, and she’s not present at the occasion but becomes a witness. Her tongue speaks lies, and her blood flows with immorality and sinfulness.”.